my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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