The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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