Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize