how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
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Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
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That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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