Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Dignity is for republicans.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize