dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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