I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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