I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize