my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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