Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
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Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
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Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize