Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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