My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize