True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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