he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Just cropdusted the office
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize