shes about as inviting as chlamydia
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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