mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize