I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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