It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize