i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You were trust falling into bushes
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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