He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
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Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
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I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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