I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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