I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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