i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize