I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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