I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize