i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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