i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize