a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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