he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize