I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize