My room smells like vodka and shame
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
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I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
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I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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