three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
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