I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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