my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
That accounts for only three of the penises
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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