i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize