Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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