If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize