Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
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I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
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I was told my cock was a religious experience.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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