I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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