Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize