apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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