apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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