he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize