Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
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I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
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I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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