we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
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Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
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I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
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