I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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