Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize