Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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