He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize