I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Actions speak louder than pants.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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